Leila

I'm in love with some music right now. I love it when I'm in love with some music. Life is dull and fuzzy when I'm not in love with some music. My friend Leila and I used to share our favorite stuff at work. She left Austin about a year ago. She's in New Mexico, untethered and soaking in experience...a decidedly disconnected experience as she's living on a Native American reservation with her boyfriend - not much internet access there I'm afraid. I miss her. She would like my new loves and she would provide me with more.

Leila worked with me as a casino game programmer. Very smart girl and a very good programmer. But she is far too free-spirited and creative to live in a cube farm for long. By trade she was technical. She's an artist at soul...actor, writer, musician. She teaches acting classes and often tried to convince me to attend. I always resisted...but really wanted to do it. Inhibitions suck. Leila and I have a lot in common and she nurtured that within me that I often neglect...still does occasionally...when she gets a chance to plug in.

She ended up in New Mexico and in her current relationship quite by accident and quite abruptly. She's readjusted her dreams and goals as she's become more consumed with her lover and fascination with his world. And, she has no family or friends of her own w/in about an 800 mile radius. I'm conflicted about all of this. I want to be and will be supportive of her. And I can't say that I would never do something similar...I'm equally as impulsive and desire driven as she. But I'm worried about her. Great way to kill a free spirit...become slowly and increasingly bound to an isolated environment with ever growing responsibilities and no support of your own. She's talking about having kids...it's difficult for me to say how serious she is about that but I know her boyfriend is about 20 years older than she and is very ready to start a family. My own parallel issues have me screaming internally (really, really loudly screaming) for her to get the fuck out now. But I know that if it were me...I wouldn't. I'd ride the wave and muddle about in its aftermath. At least that's what I would've done. She says she's very happy though. Can't really argue with that.

So for Leila and our Resonance (which I still keep, by the way)...the flavors d'jour:

KT Tunstall - Drastic Fantastic (really nothing more one can say - she is my musical pinnacle right now)
Uh Huh Her - I See Red (pretty sublime freshman LP...love Mystery Lights)
Damien Rice - 9 (just as good as his first album...it has this subtle power that I just love)
Lisa Marie Presley - What Now (yeah...that's right...Lisa Marie Presley. Look it...she rocks, she growls and she's fuckin' hot. I'm loving I'll figure it Out and Turn to Black).